It occurred to me last night while I was doing a humor workshop with 15 awesome people that I might be what they call a topical expert on dark humor. Humor is subjective of course, but in my family the hardest topics eventually hit the list of topics to lighten up about. Usually it's my highly educated Barnard graduate mother and I lauging at someone's latest misfortune. But in the end we are sharing our view of the irony not laughing AT the person's misfortune.
You see all of my immediate family have either fallen, had surgery, or have been bitten by an animal and swelled up like a possum on steroids in the past 2 months. The way to deal with this irony is with humor. You just need to find someone who shares your perspective and understands you are not poking fun of the person- just wondering what karma they are working on just now. Some illness is just not funny, and yet there is humor in every affliction and situation- eventually.
Allen Klein, one of my mentors and colleagues in the humor field writes about Circle Humor in his book The Courage to Laugh. He reminds us that when a group of people laugh about something difficult they are going through (like Chemo) that laughter will give them the respite they need from their difficult situation together. My life has always been about circle humor. My mother and I make the full circle. Between us we have lost 40 friends, dogs and cats through our years together.
In fact she is my step mother, my birth mother died when I was a toddler. At last count I had lost 26 people- that's a lot of death to deal with. Many people were young when they died and I cried for many years before I ever thought there was anything remotely funny about losing a good friend or relative. Alas the heart heals and then our memories kick in about the fun we had with our dear ones. That's when the true healing happens for me. Laughter heals. We always have a choice how to handle our stresses. For me, laughter, tears and chocolate pretty much make life a piece of cake, bitterweet chocolate of course.
I,d love to come to one of your classes but I live in Florence, Ore. Do younever do anything on weekends?
Posted by: Sharon Rieke | March 20, 2007 at 03:22 PM